To celebrate Valentine’s Day, and inspired by the book The List: A Love Story in 781 Chapters by Aneva Stout, we invited several members of the Workman staff to each write a short-form love story in just 5 to 7 numbered “chapters.” Our second love story of the day is written by an anonymous yet gainfully employed member of the editorial department who goes by Clean-Up in Aisle 6. Enjoy!

The Short List:
A Kmart Love Story by Clean-Up in Aisle 6

1. You’ll be just out of college and unemployed.
   1. You’ll live in your brother’s hallway.
   2. You’ll rent movies on VHS tape from the local library
   3. You’ll pay good rent for that hallway.
2. You’ll dutifully make a shopping list for all the necessary items you need to get hired.
   1. A fresh ream of paper for resumes
   2. A wastepaper basket for the bad cover letters
   3. File folders for getting really organized
3. You’ll decide that Kmart’s your best bet for one-stop shopping
   1. They’ll have everything so cheap
   2. It’ll be worth the $1.50 subway fare each way
   3. You can stock up on other necessary items while you’re there
4. You’ll pick out a wastepaper basket and fill it with necessary items
   1. Like paper
   2. Like file folders
   3. Like 6 months-worth of feminine products
      
      1. Why not save yourself another trip?
   4. Like a VHS copy of The Adventures of Milo and Otis
      1. Hey, the library doesn’t have it
      2. You totally love that movie
      3. You promise yourself you won’t watch it until you send out at least 5 resumes
5. You’ll hear your name called.
   1. When your wastepaper basket shopping cart is filled to
      capacity
   2. When you’re in the aisle deciding between “super” and “super
      plus”
   3. When you look up and realize it’s your brother’s friend, The Cute One, waving to you from the end of the aisle.
6. He’ll be shopping for school supplies. He’ll be asking you a question.
   1. “Oh, nothing much, just this wastebasket.”
      i. You’ll hoist up the wastebasket so he won’t be horrified by
      its contents
   2. “A copy of Milo and Otis—have you ever seen it? It’s so great. About best friends. Do you know it took them four years to film
      it? Just incredible.”
   3. “Yeah, that’s really about it.”
      
      1. You think: Did I really have to stock up with 6
         months-worth?
      2. Why am I living in a “Trauma-rama” submission to
         Seventeen magazine?
      3. No, seriously. Why.
   4. He won’t suspect a thing.
      i. Because you’ll carry it off magnificently
      ii. You’re so smooth
      iii. Adorable
      iv. Completely irresistible
7. Years later, you’ll have a career.
   1. You’ll live in an apartment
      
      1. with rooms
      2. with doors
      3. that you’ll share with The Cute One
   2. Turns out you weren’t so smooth
   3. He was totally on to you.
   4. But you were completely irresistible.

—

The format of this story was inspired by the book, The List: A Love Story in 781 Chapters.

To celebrate Valentine’s Day, and inspired by the book The List: A Love Story in 781 Chapters by Aneva Stout, we invited several members of the Workman staff to each write a short-form love story in just 5 to 7 numbered “chapters.” Our first love story is written by an anonymous member of the staff who goes by the pseudonym The Incredible Edible Egg. Enjoy!

The Short List:
A Classic Love Story by The Incredible Edible Egg

1. You’ll be recently single because your college boyfriend moved across the country.

   1. to go to law school
   2. to “find himself”
   3. to go golfing on the weekends

2. You’ll enjoy being single until,

   1. It’s been six months
   2. It’s Valentine’s Day

3. You’ll put yourself out there.

   1. By going out more
   2. By whining to your friends and coworkers
   3. By joining a free online dating site
   4. By getting drunk and sleeping with a good friend

4. That good friend will make you breakfast the next morning.
5. You’ll realize that he makes one mean omelet,

   1. Has beautiful eyes
   2. Has a great apartment and pays almost no rent

6. He’ll tell you he has loved you since the 11th grade

   1. After you spend the entire day in bed together
   2. After three months of dating
   3. Every time someone asks how you met

—

The format of this story was inspired by the book, The List: A Love Story in 781 Chapters.

Though no one likes a to-do list (until everything is checked off, or you lose the list), there is a certain joy in keeping lists. And we at Workman couldn’t agree more. After all, we do claim a few rather extensive lists ourselves. Like The Wish List. And 1000 Places to See Before You Die. And 14,000 Things to Be Happy About. And Dream It, List it, Do it.  Why, just look at that list I’ve come up with! But it’s all in effort to get to talking about a charming little book called The List: A Love Story in 781 Chapters whose innovative short chapter form came well before its time (well, hello there, Twitter).

Its “an honest, funny look at the way we love, like, lust, and…list” (says Lauren Weisberger, author of The Devil Wears Prada). And here’s an excerpt, to give you a taste:

1. You will dream about meeting Mr. Right.
   1. You’ll be eleven.
   2. Twelve.
   3. Forty-six.
2. Your first Mr. Right will be a rock star.
3. Your first Mr. Wrong will be a musician.
4. You will not learn from this.
5. You will get advice about men from your mother.
   1. “It’s as easy to love a rich man as a poor man.”
   2. “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
   3. “Good luck.”
6. You’ll decide your mother has no idea what she’s talking about.
   1. Until you’re her age.
7. You’ll go out with a girlfriend, hoping to meet Mr. Right.
   1. You’ll be twenty.
   2. Thirty.
   3. Your mother’s age.
8. You’ll meet a man in a bar.
   1. The bartender.
   2. The bouncer.
   3. A banker.
   4. A man who’s wearing a T-shirt that says: Eat Me.

AND, To celebrate Valentine’s Day, we invited seven members of the Workman staff to each write “The Short List”–his or her own love story in just 5 to 7  numbered “chapters.” Stay tuned today as we post one original story each hour!

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Read a note from Chuck Adams, Executive Editor, Algonquin Books