In the summer of 2011, several cartoonists from The New Yorker magazine were invited to participate in a group therapy session. Let’s just say it did not go well….

A little bit dark, a little bit twisted, a little bit weird, a little bit dumb, and little bit naughty (who wants to give all the nice presents around the holidays anyway?) — from cartoonist Matthew Diffee, it’s the absolutely brilliant Best of the Rejection Collection, the funniest cartoons you’ll never see in The New Yorker.

And, it can all be yours! We’re giving away one copy of the book, signed by author Matt Diffee and several of his colleagues and co-stars from the trailer above. Just leave a comment below or at the Workman  Facebook page telling us about a holiday gift that you rejected (aka returned for something way cooler). Each person is allowed two entries (one in each comment section!). The giveaway will be closed and a winner will be chosen at random at noon EST on Wednesday December 14, 2011.

Now that Thanksgiving’s over and the family has scattered  (at least for now), there’s a good chance they somehow manage not to feel so far away. Between FaceTime, Skype, email, and other modern modes of conversation, it’s fairly likely you’re not missing a beat — either you’re texting them or, more likely, they’re texting you. So, in celebration of this in-between holiday time and the When Parents Text blog’s 1^st year anniversary (a holiday in itself!), we present you with this lovely video:

Hey, visitors to and residents of New York City! What if I told you that I can get your beautiful mug on TV sets all across the nation? And what if I told you that not only would your face would be adorned with a sweet fake mustache, but that you’d be helping to set a world record?

It’s true! This Thursday, November 10, join Dan Rollman and Corey Henderson, authors of The RecordSetter Book of World Records, plus dozens of other RecordSetters as they set the world record for Most People Wearing a Fake Mustache While Watching the Live Broadcast of a Morning Show. Aspiring RecordSetters should show up at 7 a.m. at the corner of 44th Street and Broadway, outside the set of Good Morning America. We’ll position ourselves behind the big glass windows so people all across America can watch as we make history.

What do you need to participate? Just yourself, a fake mustache, and a camera-grabbing orange T-shirt—so the folks at home are sure to see you. No orange shirt? Just show up and we can provide one. And there’s no need to invest in a fancy ‘stache, either: An eyeliner pencil or even a (non-toxic!) marker can get the job done.

For inspiration, I offer this related record: Most People Wearing Fake Mustaches in a Book.

Check out lots more World Records at the RecordSetter website, where you can brag about records you’ve set and find others that are just begging to be broken. And follow @RecordSetter on Twitter for up-to-date record-setting info. See you bright and early on Thursday!

Parents. Sometimes they nag, sometimes they scold, but they’re always there to make you laugh. Especially when they’re texting. When Parents Text: So Much Said . . . So Little Understood,  a collection of insanely funny texts between parents and kids, captures the humor (intentional and otherwise) that older generations impart to us through their electronic devices.

(Ahem, MOM.)

Whether you are guilty of sending parental texts or of turning in your parents to the texting authorities, you’re certain to relate to (and chortle at) little gems like these. So, for a serious dose of textual hilarity in the news, be sure to check out the Huffington Post slideshow, complete with gems like “Lunch Maggots”…as seen here:

And remember, someday you might be that parent trying to cope with the trials of a newfangled, completely foreign technology... Talk about scary!

What do Rosh Hashanah and karaoke have in common? Absolutely nothing, until now. To the chagrin of my friends and co-workers, I recently began studying the ancient and most wondrous art of karaoke. (I’m currently practicing a version of “Sitting On The Dock of The Bay” that will put both Otis Redding and that insanely talented dude at my local karaoke bar to shame.) So what will I be doing this Rosh Hashanah Eve? You guessed it, hitting the microphone with my Jewish (and karaoke loving) friends. I encourage you and yours to do the same. Just don’t expect any of the chosen people to sing the following songs. According to Molly Katz, author of Jewish as a Second Language, these tunes are strictly off limits for Semites:

Songs You’ll Never Hear A Jewish Person Sing

“Wild Thing”

“When the Bullet Hits the Bone”

“I Love the Nightlife”

“I Can’t Stay Mad at You”

“One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer”

“Third-Rate Romance, Low-Rent Rendezvous”

“I Fought the Law and the Law Won”

“Sex Machine”

“Some Guys Have All the Luck”

(You will hear us sing any of the following, however: “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To,” “I’ve Gotta be Me,” and everyone’s favorite “I’ll Never Smile Again.”)

Shana Tova!

…it is SO big.

You other readers can’t deny
When a book comes in with a bitty typeface and it’s all up in your space –
You get hooked, wanna curl up quick
‘Cause you notice that book was thick
With information got you raring
I’m booked and I can’t stop staring
Oh pages, I wanna flip right through you
Look at your pictures
My librarian tried to warn me
But that twist now made the plot so thorny!
Ooh, paperback or hardcover
You say you wanna be a book lover?
Well, use me, peruse me
‘Cause I’m a book club groupie
I’ve read books on dancin’
I’ve read about romancin’
And yet, I bet,
There are some I haven’t got to yet
Good mysteries and horror
My librarian lets me borrow
Take the average bookworm and ask over lunch
What books are gonna pack a punch
Bestsellahs! (Yeah!) Sellahs! (Yeah!)
Has your best friend got a book? (Um, yeah!)
Tell ‘em to read it! (Read it!) Read it! (Read it!)
Read that big ol’ book!

….

Thanks to the Hillsdale Free Public Library for inspiring today’s post with last week’s sign (and a nod to his eminence, Sir Mix-A-Lot)  Here’s to all of you readers out there who want books “real thick and juicy.” Over here at Workman, on this fine Friday, we want to remind all of you who “wanna get the fiction (or nonfiction) on” to beat the summer heat by heading to your nearest library and curling up with a good read and air conditioning.

Happy National Book Week!

We get a little giddy around here when books we’ve spent the last many months making finally arrive in the office in our hot little hands! And the book that arrived on my desk today, edited by my colleague Bruce, is When Parents Text: So Much Said…So Little Understood (based on the popular website of the same name). It’s fascinating. And you don’t have to be a prolific texter to appreciate the affectionate exchanges.

My mom, actually,  is a prolific texter–the second she got an “enV3″ with the handy, slide-out keypad, I was inundated. No warning, just one afternoon texts started to pile in to the inbox. Two months ago, she upgraded to an iPhone, and the steady stream has only increased. Impressed and proud (and, okay, a little shamed that my mom’s shooting around photos and texts like a young wizard with a wand, while I’m still tap-tap-tapping out pathetically short responses like “ok” on my 5-year-old flip phone), I struggle to keep up. And yet, we still have our fair share of energetic texting interludes.

Here’s a bonus one, not in the book, since it’s an exchange that happened just two weeks ago, between my mom and my sister (while my sister and I were riding the bus home together):

Mom: Just got my rack adjusted. Good thing I went back. It was not installed correctly at all.

Sister: Oh good!!! Thank goodness they fixed it!

And yes, I was the daughter who, nosily reading over my sister’s shoulder, asked, “What’s wrong with Mom’s chest?” Yeah, it was the roof rack on her car, people. Then my sister outed me:

Sister: Megan thought you meant your chest.

Mom: Ha! That could use some work, too.

—

So, this weekend my husband bought me an iPhone for my birthday, and now that I’ve reached my own technology 2.0 status, and this mother-daughter team is unified by iPhone, watch out! The sky (and all those satellites up there delivering our messages) is the limit!

To celebrate, I’m giving away my advance copy of When Parents Text! To win, leave your own personal favorite “when parents text” moment in the comments either here on the blog or over on the Workman Facebook page before noon EST tomorrow (August 10, 2011) and we’ll select a winner at random. In the meantime, happy texting!

P.S. I took the photo of this book with my iPhone. Leaps and bounds!

In honor of today’s holiday (eh?)–that’s right, Canada Day!–we’ve assembled a small gaggle of geese for your viewing pleasure. Oh, and they happen to be courtesy of our very own Matthew Diffee, New Yorker cartoonist and editor of the forthcoming The Best of the Rejection Collection. One of these cartoons made it into the New Yorker, but the other, having been rejected, will be featured in the book, branded with the “Too Difficult to Get” stamp (although we think it’s pretty darn hilarious…). So, happy Canada Day to you!

Bonus points if, while you’re reading this post, you’re a) playing hockey, b) eating Canadian bacon, c) taking your flock of geese for a waddle, d) thinking about reading the complete works of Avery (one-quarter Canadian!) on the Workman blog, or e) [insert alternate Canadian stereotype here]. If you can send proof that you’re doing all of these things while reading this post, we will send you a signed copy of The Best of the Rejection Collection on publication.

from the June 6, 2011 issue of the New Yorker

Matthew Diffee on WhoSay

Oooh, and if you haven’t already, head over to Matt Diffee’s Facebook page or Matt Diffee’s WhoSay page to enter the weekly caption contest to win the original drawing!

The first time I saw When Parents Text, the hilarious website created by Sophia Fraioli and Lauren Kaelin, I reveled in their genius. I was also comforted; other parents were as hilarious as mine were! If my mother is not texting me to confirm I’ve made it home safe via Jersey Shore references, she’s sending me disjointed commentary on Boston sports teams, or better yet sending my die-hard, NY Yankees-loving husband disjointed commentary on Boston sports teams (but mostly also confirming with him that I’ve made it home safely). Her front-facing keyboard, I also recently found out, doesn’t have any punctuation keys on it. Which… let’s just say… explains a lot.

In anticipation of the launch of Sophia and Lauren’s book and in celebration of the launch of their new When Parents Text blog, we collected some of our own gems from around the office. Here’s a small peek into the incoming texts of Workman employees, who have no trouble at all exploiting our parents for sentimental or comical purposes. All names have been omitted to protect the embarrassed.

EVERYBODY WANTS A BOOK DEAL

MOM: Mr. B says you should write a book about him.

(Sent on Father’s Day)
MOM: I forgot to tell you that on Friday Mr. B left Dad a mouse head and a mouse tail in the garage!

---

BIEBER FEVER
MOM: where are you sitting? what color do you have on?
ME: Gray hoodie, light blue sweater. Chris is in brown hoodie.
MOM: so basically i should look for justin bieber look-alikes

---

OUT OF THE WILL
ME: Would it be too embarrassing if I submitted some of your texts to be published in a blog post tomorrow? It’s for the launch of the When Parents Text blog….
MOM: o-k, I guess…I can always dis-inherit you later. HAHA

---

BLESSED BE THY HYGIENIST
MOM: Are you going home now? Are you going to clean? Cook? Read?
ME: I am home… Must clean. And try to make food for the week. Pls send good cleaning vibes.
MOM: Ok I will. I will also pray to God that you will go online and make a dental appointment!

---

SOBER
ME: I love you!
MOM: sorry. sleeping. drunk or you miss me?
ME: I’m not drunk at all!
MOM: oh sorry. but its nice to be appreciated

---

NO SUCH THING AS FREE LUNCH
ME: We’re leaving for Chipotle in 6 minutes.
DAD: Rad. On subway
DAD: Meet you when y’all finished with your burritos
DAD: Why aren’t credit services for everyone
DAD: Craft
ME: Craft?
DAD: Movie set. Food looked good. Not free for everyone

---

COOLDOM
MOM: A friend is showing me how to send text messages.
ME: Whoa, this is weird…! It’s like hearing from your mom while you’re on a date!
MOM: Are u???
ME: And now you’re even using “u” for “you”? Mom, that’s cooldom!

---

ARE YOU SURE HE’S NOT THERE?
MOM: Is chris still away
ME: Yep. Comes back tomorrow around 4.
MOM: Did you look all around apartment

---

IS THIS HIPSTER?
MOM: we love you
MOM: Charlie & Luna [family dogs] love u 2. We are driving through Amherst now
MOM: Now we r almost at rte2. Maybe I am a texter. Is that kind of like a hipster?
ME: Ha, not at all
MOM: this is so exciting to get a text! Right now Charlie just stole a chew of luna’s so I had to give her another one!

---

PLEASE CONFIRM RECEIPT
DAD: Are you alive
ME: Yes!! Why wouldn’t I be?
DAD: You never answe my text yesterdays

---

TESTING 1, 2…
DAD:
ME: ????
DAD:
ME: You’re not sending anything.
DAD:
ME: Hold on, I’ll call you.

---

NEVER FALL IN LOVE AT THE SHORE
MOM: are you at the shore yet?
ME: No, why? Do you have a message for J Woww?
MOM: i thought you were going there tonight snookers!
ME: Hahaha, we are, but later.
MOM: ok honey dont smoosh with any of your roommates
(Editor’s note: this conversation took place one month before my second wedding anniversary.)

---

GREAT NEWS
MOM: I got a parking spot!

---

REBUKED
MOM: Are u coming for dinner tonite? On my way home from garage & will pick up a foodie if so
MOM: Meant to say a Goldie!
MOM: Geez, a GOODIE, this device has a mind of its own & needs to be rebuked

---

DAD WENT GOLFING, SO…
MOM: Omg got to stop watching rachel zoe just bought a sleeveless black dress nowhere to wear it      its bananas
ME: Hahahaha, I love you! Best text message ever!
MOM: Thanks honey i only paid 51 down from 109 with coupon!
ME: Amazing! Is this a midlife fashion crisis?
MOM: Yes and dad went golfing

---

If you’ve been watching the news lately, you might be aware of a few scandals, and perhaps may be tracking one in particular (no, not Weinergate) that involves a blog called “Gay Girl in Damascus.” Well, imagine that you’re a successful New Yorker cartoonist (and editor of the forthcoming book of rejected cartoons, The Best of the Rejection Collection), just scanning the Lede blog on the New York Times, when you notice that the fraudulent blogger (right) is wearing one of your cartoons!

Here’s the story, in Matt’s own words:

“Here’s a cartoon I did a few years ago. People seemed to like it. They even sold a few t-shirts with this toon printed on the front. Apparently one of those shirts went to a guy from Georgia studying in Scotland and posing on the internet as a Syrian/American Lesbian.”

Matthew Diffee on WhoSay

Wow. I guess fans come in all shapes, sizes, and with all moral codes. For more cartoons and (potentially) crazy news (Does Anthony Weiner have a Matt Diffee t-shirt? What about you, Sarah Palin?), check out Matt’s fan page on Facebook.