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All creatures great and small…we want jokes for them all! Your joke could win you a copy of the NEW 2011 Animal Crack-Ups Page-A-Day Calendar!
Animal Crack-ups is good, clean fun for the whole family, and we need YOU to fill it with your best animal jokes! Each page of the calendar will feature an animal joke, along with an irresistible photo of that animal cracking up.
From elephants and tigers to bears and penguins, no creature is too obscure and no joke too corny. The only requirement is that the humor be family-friendly—and the more original the joke, the better! For inspiration check out these standard-bearers of silliness:
Kangaroo: I hate April!
Wallabee: Why?
Kangaroo: It rains so much, the kids have to play inside!
What happens when 50 rabbits hop backwards at the same time?
You get a receding hare line.
Post a comment below with your joke and email address for a chance to win! We’re looking for jokes that emcompass the entire animal kingdom, from monkeys and dogs to hippopotamuses and lizards—even the occasional llamas and hyenas—and everything in between. All we need are jokes to go with them! All submissions must be made by December 31, 2009. If we use your joke, you’ll get a free copy of the 2011 Animal Crack-Ups Page-A-Day calendar!
“There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.“ –Andre Gide
“The only thing that should surprise us is that
there are still some things that can surprise us.”
-Francois de La Rochefoucauld
You always hope no harm will befall your faithful canine companion, but if something unexpected does happen, you want to be prepared. Dogs, just like their supposed nemeses, are curious…they will explore, rummage and investigate with complete disregard to the possible consequences.
So if you’ve ever found your pet with mysterious goo stuck in their fur, a scrape on their nose or an upset stomach, The Complete Healthy Dog Handbook by Betsy Brevitz, D.V.M., offers reassurance, as well as a helpful guide to first-aid basics and poison control. To deal with any routine mishaps, you might want to have the following on hand:
• Ear-cleaning solution, cotton balls and cotton swabs, for cleaning ears
• Plain saline eyewash, for cleaning discharge or flushing debris from the eyes
• Mild dog shampoo, for general clean-ups
• Dog nail clipper, for broken nails
• Tweezers for removing ticks and splinters
• Electric hair clipper, K-Y jelly, chlorhexidine or povidone-iodine (Betadine) wound cleaner, and gauze squares, for clipping and cleaning wounds
• Roll of 2-inch-wide gauze and roll of 1-inch-wide bandage tape, for bandaging leg or tail wounds
• Antibiotic ointment, for minor wounds
• Hydrocortisone spray or ointment, for itchy wounds or bug bites
• 3cc oral medication syringe, for giving liquid medication
• Muzzle, in case you need to handle your dog when she’s frightened or in pain
• Diphenhydramine (Benadryl), for insect bites or hives
• Baby thermometer, for taking your dog’s temperature
• 10cc oral medication syringe, for flushing wounds, rinsing caustic substances from your dog’s mouth, or inducing vomiting; a turkey baster can substitute in a pinch but is messier and harder to aim
• 3% hydrogen peroxide, for inducing vomiting only when appropriate
Posted by nichole at 8:58 am
Tags: Betsy Brevitz, dogs, The Complete Healthy Dog Handbook
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Tags: Betsy Brevitz, dogs, The Complete Healthy Dog Handbook
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The original, still the best in design, authorship, and production quality, Page-A-Day Calendars cover a spectrum of subjects, obsessions, and interests. This year’s irresistible titles range from perennial hits like 365 Cats, 365 Dogs, and 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said to three exciting additions to the lineup: Wonderword Word Search, Angels on Earth, and One-Minute Devotions. Scroll down to preview your favorite.
To view our full calendar selection for 2010, visit workman.com/calendars
“Learning is like rowing upstream: not to advance is to drop back.” -Chinese Proverb
“It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.”
-Charles H. Spurgeon
July 17, 2009
Categories: Pets
“Bo” Obama may be the most famous Portuguese water dog trotting down the White House halls these days, but before his arrival at the White House, there was a long line of celebrity pets that former Commander-in-Chiefs called their “best friend.” First Dogs by Roy Rowan and Brooke Janis chronicles the relationships, perks and quirks of the dogs that have lounged in the Oval Office. You might remember Millie, and her best-selling book recounting her time on Pennsylvania Avenue, but did you know that Warren Harding’s Airedale had a personal valet? Or that FDR’s Scottie would stand at attention on his hind legs for “The Star Spangled Banner?”
Posted by nichole at 8:19 am
Tags: bo obama, brooke janis, first dogs, Roy Rowan
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Tags: bo obama, brooke janis, first dogs, Roy Rowan
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“To see a world in a grain of sand
and heaven in a wild flower
Hold infinity in the palms of your hand
and eternity in an hour.”
—William Blake
Free Online Samples- Hard Work Excerpt
- Quick and easy Halloween costumes from Generation T: Beyond Fashion!
- A Friend of the Family
- The Original Sudoku Page-A-Day Calendar 2010
- The Cake Mix Doctor Returns!
- How to Be an Everyday Philanthropist
- Rosh Hashanah Recipes from Cooking Jewish
- The Wine Lover's Page-A-Day Calendar 2010
- The Official 365 Sports Facts-A-Year Page-A-Day Calendar 2010
- One-Minute Devotions Page-A-Day Calendar 2010
- 1000 Recordings
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