A very small sampling of the many desserts at the party

What is a cookie swap, you ask? It’s just that: a swapping of cookies. Partygoers whipped up a batch of their favorite cookies—often, you probably won’t be surprised to learn, out of a Workman cookbook—and then laid them out for display. Then everyone who brought in baked goods could put together a sampler of all the other cookies they wanted to take home. And even those of us who didn’t make anything were allowed to try a few—you know, in the generous holiday spirit and all.

This year the edible offerings were as great as ever, with cookies running the gamut from peanut butter thumbprints to chocolate whoopie pies. Among the many highlights were treats from two of our favorite cookie books: Chewy Gooey Crispy Crunch Melt-in-Your-Mouth Cookies by Alice Medrich and Lauren Chattman’s Cookie Swap! Below, check out (on the left) some Snickerdoodles from Chewy Gooey and (right) some Chocolate Peppermint Dirt Cookies from Cookie Swap!, lovingly baked by Workman employees.

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Gearing up for your own holiday party? Whip up a plate of delicious ginger cookies from Artisan’s spectacular Chewy Gooey Crispy Crunchy and you’re sure to wow all the holiday revelers you know; the recipe’s below. (And keep scrolling for a few choice shots from the party!)

Partygoers mingle and jingle.

Red-and-green peanut butter thumbprints (!!)

The Reprints---Nancy (at the back on the spoons), Erin, Liz, Bob, David, Jeanne, and Mike (below)---rock out.

No keyboard? There's an app for that.

Donated gifts under the tree---and Cheryl and Griffith Day of "The Back in the Day Bakery Cookbook" on top!

Happy holidays, from our family to yours!
—Avery

Coming Out Day is a happy occasion, but it can also bring up some questions—not just about coming out, but about LGBT issues in general. Fortunately we’re able to turn to resident gay manners expert Steven Petrow, author of Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners, for some tips on navigating the ever-changing waters of LGBT life.

Below is a primer on coming out from the Coming Out chapter in Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners (also available as a short e-book, for sale through many online retailers). Arm yourself with these tips from a pro, plus confidence and a positive attitude—and make this the best National Coming Out Day yet.

Taking the First Steps
Coming out is not about “flaunting” anything; it’s about telling people something very important about who you are. For every social butterfly who comes out on Facebook by updating her status and every guy who has an in-depth coming-out conversation with his parents while wearing a T-shirt that says “I’m queer! Get used to it,” there are plenty of people who prefer to make their sexual orientation or gender identity known in quieter, less assertive ways. No approach is better than another; in fact, how you come out is among the most personal decisions you’ll ever make, and you may actually deploy different strategies at different times in your life or with different people.

Whom to Tell First
Most people come out first to a close friend, often someone who is LGBT. Whether you spill the beans in one huge confessional or just mention your sexuality or gender identity in passing, treat whomever you tell with the same respect and consideration you’ll be expecting in return. It’s important that you trust this confidante, whether he’s your best friend, a teacher, a work colleague, a professional counselor, or someone in your family. A recent poll on my website showed that nearly half of the respondents first came out to an LGBT friend, while a quarter started with a straight friend. Only one in eight told a family member first.

These four steps can be helpful:

1. Make a plan: Ask your confidante to go out for coffee, take a quiet walk, or meet somewhere you will have privacy and feel comfortable. If there’s any chance at all that the person might have a hostile or violent response, take that into consideration when you choose where to go. Explain beforehand that you have something personal you’d like to discuss, but don’t make it sound too serious. Coming out is not like revealing a serious disease, an intractable problem, or a crime (by the way, you can “acknowledge” your homosexuality but don’t “admit” it—”admitting” is something you do when a wrongdoing is involved, and there’s nothing at all the matter with your acknowledging who you really are).
2. Consider all possible reactions: How your friend responds isn’t really up to you—although how you set up the conversation can help increase the likelihood of a favorable reaction. Usually, respect and trust beget respect and trust. Expect the best: acceptance, a warm embrace, words of support, as well as love and continued friendship. But prepare for the worst: rejection, anger, even the loss of the relationship. You may be equally surprised to find a friend had no idea, or to hear him say, “Oh really? That’s no big deal,” or, “I knew it all along.” Each time you come out, you will have a better sense of how to prepare for the next time.
3. Do your research: Although it’s not your job to educate people about what being gay or transgender means, some people you come out to may have questions, and knowing the answers can help you feel more confident about how you respond. “No, it’s not a choice,” you might need to say if asked why you are gay. “When did you choose to be straight” if further pressed, or, “Mom, I do hope you’ll be a grandparent one day. There are lots of ways for LGBT people to have kids.” If you can’t find what you’re looking for online, contact a group like PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) or GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network). Hold on to the phone number or URL in case you end up wanting to share it with the person you’re coming out to. (For more information, visit www.gaymanners.com.)
4. Keep it simple: You might start off with, “We’ve known each other for a very long time and there’s something personal about me that I’d like you to know.” Or, “I want you to know that I’m a lesbian.” Or even just, “I have a girlfriend.” No need to spill your guts or make a tortured declaration. The more confident and together you sound, the more likely you’ll get a positive response.

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Keep up with Steven online! Visit GayManners.com to read the latest news and ask Steven your own LGBT etiquette questions. You can follow him on Twitter at @gaymanners, where all week he’s tweeting tips for coming out, what to say when a friend comes out to you, and more.

(Ahem, MOM.)

Whether you are guilty of sending parental texts or of turning in your parents to the texting authorities, you’re certain to relate to (and chortle at) little gems like these. So, for a serious dose of textual hilarity in the news, be sure to check out the Huffington Post slideshow, complete with gems like “Lunch Maggots”…as seen here:

And remember, someday you might be that parent trying to cope with the trials of a newfangled, completely foreign technology... Talk about scary!

Despite a love of nature, I never once went camping as a child—at least not what I considered real camping. My parents weren’t (and still aren’t) really into the whole not-sleeping-in-a-bed thing, so they didn’t take me and my siblings on any trips that involved mosquitoes or canned food or “roughing it.” Another problem was my mindset: To me, camping required lots of gear, none of which we had. Okay, we had sleeping bags, but they were cotton and covered with pictures of Snoopy and the gang—no waterproof exterior, no thermal lining, more appropriate for the living room rug than the forest floor. We couldn’t cook a hot-dog or roast marshmallows because we didn’t have a camping stove, and our parents certainly wouldn’t allow us to start a roaring campfire without their help. And, probably the clincher, we didn’t even have a tent. Talk about pathetic.

Thinking back, I shouldn’t have felt so hopeless, because the truth is that I really did do a lot of camping, just not in the traditional sense. I never pitched a tent, but I did spend more than one night sleeping on a friend’s backyard trampoline. And roasting marshmallows was a bit of a Fourth of a July tradition in our neighborhood; granted, they were roasted over the barbecue, but the s’mores surely tasted just as sweet.

All this (phew!) to say that it’s August, and summer is winding down, and you should definitely give “real” camping a try if you’re able. Below is an excerpt from Camp Out!, the ultimate guide to camping for kids, that details the intricacies of finding the perfect spot for your tent, and what to do once you’re set up. And remember that you can still have fun even if the “perfect spot” for your tent just happens to be your living room.

As for me, I still haven’t parked myself in the woods for a night, but I’ve come close the few times that I’ve gone to Bonnaroo, an annual music and arts festival in Tennessee. There am I in front of my tent with a real camping stove and a really large number of mosquito bites. Perfection.

From Camp Out!: The Ultimate Kids’ Guide, by Lynne Brunelle
Location, Location, Location
No matter what type of tent you have, before you put it anywhere, think about the location in terms of water, sun, slope (is it on a hill or in a ditch?), ground surface, and wind. Tents are incredible contraptions, but they work best when smartly placed. After all, the tent is your outdoor bedroom; in some ways, it’s the most important room in the “house”!

• Stay dry. Though it may seem ideal to pitch your tent on the banks of a pretty lake or near that pond in your yard, you should always be at least 200 feet from any water. Being next to water can mean you’ll wake up drenched in dew. Water evaporates from the body of water and forms a cloud as the night air cools. Land around a body of water gets a bigger share of the moisture or dew. Also, water is where mosquitoes and other biting insects live, which means that if you’re near water when the sun goes down—insect feeding time—you’ll be on the menu for dinner. Instead, pitch your tent away from water. Find a well-drained spot that is on high ground and avoid dips and depressions—if you pitch your tent on low ground or in a dip and it rains, you’ll be snoozing in a puddle.
• Made in the shade. It’s usually best to put your tent in a shady spot, if possible, especially if you’ll be staying for more than one night. If the sun bears down on your tent all day, it will feel like an oven when you get back from frolicking in the woods. (Plus, too much sun exposure can weaken the fabric, making it more susceptible to tears and leaks.) If there are no trees around, try finding a natural feature that can block the sun, like a boulder.
• Be grounded. Seek out a smooth, flat patch that will fit your tent comfortably. If the ground slopes everywhere you look, you can still pitch your tent, but make sure you arrange it so your head will be uphill. Move away any rocks, large pebbles, sticks, or debris so you won’t be lying on top of them. But remember that this stuff isn’t garbage, it’s part of the environment—leave it nearby so you can replace it after you’ve taken down your tent. You want to leave a campground nicer than you found it, so the next family that comes by can enjoy it too.
• Fresh air. If you’re going to a car camping site with bathrooms, check to see where the camp toilets are and which way the wind is blowing. You want to be close enough to use the bathroom easily, but not so close you can smell it—after all, you want fresh air! If you’re in a remote area where you have to dig your own pit toilet, make sure you set it up at least 200 feet away from water, trails, and camp, and downwind (the wind direction might change, of course, but at least you gave it a shot).
• Don’t get winded. Choose a place that will be protected from the wind should it kick up. You don’t want your rain flap to fly around too much or blow away.
• Flee from fire. Pitch your tent a good distance from your fire pit and kitchen area. Fire makes sparks, sparks can land on tents, and sparks on tents can equal fire—which equals bad news. You also want to steer clear of pitching a tent near your kitchen or dishwashing area, because animals are attracted to the scent of food.

Settling In
Once your tent is set up, go on in and make yourself at home. Roll out your sleeping pad and sleeping bag and let them sit while you explore your site. Next, air out your tent, which can get a bit stuffy and funky-smelling: Open the windows, keep the screens closed, and let the air (not the bugs) flow through. If weather permits, leave your backpack or duffel bag outside the tent to maximize space inside. Cover it with a garbage bag so it doesn’t get soaked with morning dew.

The event was a pot luck, and, being kind of a dud in the kitchen (or at least more of one than my roommate, who is a certified whiz), I decided that my best bet was to take care of drinks. But I didn’t want to just put out a tub of beer and a bottle of Coke and call it a day. Oh no. If I was going to be the bartender, I was going to do it right. So I flipped open my copy of the gorgeous Artisan book Raising the Bar (seriously, have you seen the cover?) and found the perfect punch for the night: a beautiful golden champagne sangria. It didn’t take long to assemble, and the results looked spectacular and tasted even better: sweet and fruity, and very refreshing on a hot July night in New York.

So follow the recipe below and treat yourself to a cool drink. Go on, it’s hot; you deserve it.

Champagne Sangria (page 171 in Raising the Bar by Nick Mautone)
Makes fifteen 8-ounce servings

Yum! Plums!

• 4 plums, pitted and cut in thick wedges
• 1/2 cup superfine or confectioners’ sugar
• 32 ounces apricot nectar or peach, pear, or other nectar, chilled
• 16 ounces plum wine, chilled
• 8 ounces brandy, chilled
• two 750-milliliter bottles sparkling wine (champagne), chilled
• mint leaves for garnish

Plan ahead: Chill all ingredients for at least 30 minutes before serving.

Place the plums and sugar in a punch bowl and stir well to extract juice.

Stirring the sugar and plums to release the fruit's juice.

Add the nectar, plum wine, and brandy. Stir well and refrigerate until ready to serve.

Pear nectar works just as well as apricot nectar.

To serve, remove the mixture from the refrigerator. Add the sparkling wine and stir briefly to combine.

Pop the cork!

Float mint leaves on top and serve immediately. And enjoy!

Don’t get me wrong: It was—and still is—wonderful to visit them! (They have a pool, and they always stock the pantry with Froot Loops—among other reasons.) Yes, hanging out with G-mom and Pop-pop was great, but the drive…ohh, the drive. Somehow my sisters and I, three otherwise very well-behaved girls who enjoyed each other’s company, were absolutely transformed upon entering the back seat. All civility flew out the window (onto the highway, no doubt) and suddenly none of us could stand to be touched or spoken to or even looked at by any of the others. Everything bugged us, from the inevitable heat to the meager snack offerings. And adding an enormous, smelly German Shepherd-mix who was prone to carsickness and heavy drooling only served to exacerbate the situation. If those three hours were horrible for us kids, I can only imagine how our parents felt.

Luckily we’ve long since outgrown those days of car-induced crankiness, and family trips are now quite pleasant. One summer the whole clan, including the dog, drove 12 hours to our new home in Tennessee, and although I wasn’t there for the ride (I was working as a counselor at a sleep-away camp, thinking I’d dodged a major bullet), I later heard that everyone made it through the journey unscathed.

Thinking back, it’s kind of funny: We were good kids, but the car made us bonkers! That’s why I wish we’d had a copy of All-American Car-i-oke, David Schiller’s answer to the sometime-trauma of a long road trip. Below is one of my favorite songs from the book, a reinterpretation of Harry “Haywire Mac” McClintock’s classic hobo ballad “The Big Rock Candy Mountains.” Pop in the CD or just break it down a cappella-style—whatever it takes to get everyone rockin’. A few verses of this fun tune and before you know it you’ll be on Long Island—or wherever your station wagon may take you. Happy trails!

THE BIG ROCK CANDY MOUNTAINS
Words and music by Harry McClintock, new lyrics by David Schiller.

Intro:
On a summer’s day in the month of May,
A third-grader come a-boarding,
Coasting along that lonesome road
To a place much more rewarding.
He said, “I’m headed for a land that’s far away,
Beside them crystal fountains—
So come with me
We’ll go and see
The Big Rock Candy Mountains.”

First verse:
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
You never change your socks,
And little streams of Mountain Dew
Come a-trickling down the rocks.
You’re stoked on all the banks and ramps,
And life is one big jam.
There’s a Slurpy lake with nachos, too,
You can paddle all around ‘em in a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

Second verse:
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains,
There’s a land that’s fair and bright,
Where the Gameboys grow on bushes
And you hang out every night;
Where little brothers stay out of your way
And little sisters too.
Oh, I’m bound to go
Where I can catch any show,
The alarm never rings
And my father never sings,
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

Third verse:
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
Classrooms are made of tin
And you can bust right out again
As soon as they put you in;
The teachers show up just once a week
To hand out nothing but A’s.
Oh, I’m going to stay
Where you sleep all day,
Where they jammed the jerk
Who invented homework
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

Fourth verse:
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
You can burp right after you eat,
And you never have to brush your teeth,
And forget about being neat;
You can throw your clothes all over the floor,
Eat candy in your bed.
Oh, that’s the life for me,
Completely parent-free,
Where your only job
Is to act like a slob,
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

Finale:
And so now my song is over,
I’m lacing up my Vans,
I’m pointing my board
To the open road
Where the bluebirds sing
And kids are king
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains!

With knockout recipes in line with Lukins’ Silver Palate Cookbook, Celebrate! offers 46 menus for entertaining on special occasions, be it a Kentucky Derby-inspired buffet or a Labor Day picnic. As an added bonus, Lukins suggests extra touches to make an event even more special, including music selections, wine recommendations, and decoration tips.

This year, I’m ready to conquer this holiday armed with Lukins’ “Bang-Up Fourth of July” menu, which includes recipes for Glorious Gazpacho, Dazzling Grilled Veal Chops, Outrageous Lobster Salad Rolls, A Decorative Cucumber Salad, Garden Squash Salad, Fresh Peach Cobbler, and Buttermilk Ice Cream.

I’m especially excited about the Garden Squash Salad below, since there is an amazing farmer’s market close to my apartment!

Garden Squash Salad

Summer squash, both zucchini and yellow, are crisp and delicious when served raw and very thinly sliced in a salad. Dressed with plenty of lemon juice and Parmesan cheese (look for the finest Parmigiano-Reggiano), it matches up well with peppery arugula and some fine ripe tomatoes.

4 small zucchini, ends trimmed

4 small yellow squash, ends trimmed

½ cup fresh lemon juice

¼ cup extra-virgin live oil

Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

8 ounces Parmesan cheese, shaved or cut into thin slivers

2 large bunches arugula (12 ounces total), stems trimmed, leaves washed and patted dry

2 large ripe tomatoes, cored

¼ cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

1. Cut the zucchini and squash into very thin slices on the diagonal and place them in a bowl.
2. Whisk the lemon juice, olive oil, and salt and pepper together in a small and toss with the squash. Let the squash rest for 10 to 15 minutes. Then add the cheese.
3. Place the arugula in a salad bowl. Cut the tomatoes in half lengthwise, and then into very thin wedges, and scatter them over the greens.
4. Just before serving, spoon the squash and dressing over the arugula and tomatoes. Sprinkle with parsley and season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve immediately, tossing the salad at the table.

For the full menu, including this Garden Squash Salad from Sheila Lukins’ “Bang-Up Fourth of July” menu, see the excerpt below, via Scribd:

Celebrate Pp132 137

Like Ms. Brown, I am madly in love with summer—the smell of Coppertone is enough to get my heart racing—so in honor of the first day of the season, I bring you one of her tips for living life to the fullest in the upcoming months:

How to Play Beach Volleyball

Scout out a quiet place away from the water and sunbathers, then draw lines in the sand that measure approximately 30 feet wide by 60 feet long.

The serving player must hit the ball over the net and inside the court lines within three attempts. If the server fails to successfully place the ball within three serves, the opposing team gains control.

Players rotate positions clockwise whenever their team gains control of the ball (Thus, each team has a new server at that time.)

Once the ball is hit over the net to the opposing team, a player cannot contact the   ball twice in a row unless the first touch is off a block at the net. A player cannot grab the ball, allow it to come to rest in his hand, or touch the net. If he does so, he forfeits the ball to the opposing team.

A point is earned when the serving team wins a rally, or an ace is served.

The first team to reach 15 points wins. A match is played in sets of three or five games.

* * *

This summer (which officially starts TODAY!), before you head off to your beach bungalow, pack a picnic for the park, or spend a day in the shade, pick up Summer: A User’s Guide and make the best of this short and sweet season.

Just in time for LGBT Pride Month, we’re pleased to present The Real-World Guide to Coming Out—a short e-book by Steven Petrow that details the ins and (ha) outs of coming out of the proverbial closet. Whether you’re unsure of whom to tell first or can hardly wait to declare yourself in a Facebook post, this guide excerpted from Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners (in stores today!) has got it covered. Check it out below or download the e-book for free for a limited time!

Happy Pride!