We’re finally heading into spring and out of cold and flu season. Have you survived the winter without getting sick? If so, hooray! If not, you might want to learn a secret or two from Gene Stone, author of The Secrets of People Who Never Get Sick.

As someone who is constantly sick throughout winter, spring, summer, and fall, I’m probably the last person who should be sharing their secret. But believe it or not, I do have a secret to not getting (as) sick: hand sanitizer.

Wait! My secret isn’t to use hand sanitizer, it’s to not use it. The idea was planted in my brain when I first moved to New York City. My friend would compulsively squeeze a drop of Purell into her hands before, during, and after every subway ride we took. At first, I held out my hand every time I saw her reach into her bag, but I quickly stopped using hand sanitizer when we both came down with swine flu in early October.

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Ten lucky winners will each win a 11×14 framed limited edition print of one of Austin’s newspaper blackout poems (valued at $185, offered exclusively by 20×200.com).

To be eligible to win, just email a copy of your receipt for the purchase of a copy of Austin Kleon’s new book STEAL LIKE AN ARTIST by 11:59pm (pst) February 28, 2012 to promotions@workman.com.  Include your full name, address (where print would be shipped), phone number and email address when sending in the receipt. The 10 winners will be selected at random on February 29 and will be notified by March 5, 2012.  The winners names will also be posted at austinkleon.com.

Someone knocks into you on the subway. A car cuts you off on your way home from work. The friends you’ve gone out to happy hour with stiff the bill and leave you to pay double.

Why are you so mad right now?

I’m sure you’ve asked yourself that question a million times.

Now take a cleansing breath.

Better?

We’ve all felt angry before. Anger knows no boundaries and touches every person in every corner of the world. Anger is universal and luckily Workman has THE book to combat this feeling.

The Cow in the Parking Lot: A Zen Approach to Overcoming Anger has been stretching its helpful pages across the globe; and now that Cow is printed in 11 different countries worldwide, we really are taking the bull by the horns (pun intended) to beat anger.

Below are some of the best foreign edition covers so far, and we hope to see many, many more in the future! Which one is your favorite?

Brazil, Published by: Objetiva

Portugal, Published by: Sinais De Fogo

Italy, Published by: De Agostini

Germany, Published by: Goldman Verlag

Netherlands, Published by: Lannoo

I have to say, I’m partial to the Italian cover. That is one relaxed cartoon cow!

Cow in the Parking Lot is now printed in Portuguese (Portugal and Brazil), Complex Chinese, Czech, French, German, Hebrew, Italian, Dutch, Spanish, and Turkish.

–June, International Department

National Coming Out Day is observed around the world every year on October 11 (except in the UK, where it’s October 12). The holiday is a special day for the recognition and discussion of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) life and rights. Many people also embrace the day as an occasion to “come out,” or open up about their sexual orientation or gender identity, to their friends and family.

Coming Out Day is a happy occasion, but it can also bring up some questions—not just about coming out, but about LGBT issues in general. Fortunately we’re able to turn to resident gay manners expert Steven Petrow, author of Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners, for some tips on navigating the ever-changing waters of LGBT life.

Below is a primer on coming out from the Coming Out chapter in Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners (also available as a short e-book, for sale through many online retailers). Arm yourself with these tips from a pro, plus confidence and a positive attitude—and make this the best National Coming Out Day yet.

Taking the First Steps
Coming out is not about “flaunting” anything; it’s about telling people something very important about who you are. For every social butterfly who comes out on Facebook by updating her status and every guy who has an in-depth coming-out conversation with his parents while wearing a T-shirt that says “I’m queer! Get used to it,” there are plenty of people who prefer to make their sexual orientation or gender identity known in quieter, less assertive ways. No approach is better than another; in fact, how you come out is among the most personal decisions you’ll ever make, and you may actually deploy different strategies at different times in your life or with different people.

Whom to Tell First
Most people come out first to a close friend, often someone who is LGBT. Whether you spill the beans in one huge confessional or just mention your sexuality or gender identity in passing, treat whomever you tell with the same respect and consideration you’ll be expecting in return. It’s important that you trust this confidante, whether he’s your best friend, a teacher, a work colleague, a professional counselor, or someone in your family. A recent poll on my website showed that nearly half of the respondents first came out to an LGBT friend, while a quarter started with a straight friend. Only one in eight told a family member first.

These four steps can be helpful:

1. Make a plan: Ask your confidante to go out for coffee, take a quiet walk, or meet somewhere you will have privacy and feel comfortable. If there’s any chance at all that the person might have a hostile or violent response, take that into consideration when you choose where to go. Explain beforehand that you have something personal you’d like to discuss, but don’t make it sound too serious. Coming out is not like revealing a serious disease, an intractable problem, or a crime (by the way, you can “acknowledge” your homosexuality but don’t “admit” it—”admitting” is something you do when a wrongdoing is involved, and there’s nothing at all the matter with your acknowledging who you really are).
2. Consider all possible reactions: How your friend responds isn’t really up to you—although how you set up the conversation can help increase the likelihood of a favorable reaction. Usually, respect and trust beget respect and trust. Expect the best: acceptance, a warm embrace, words of support, as well as love and continued friendship. But prepare for the worst: rejection, anger, even the loss of the relationship. You may be equally surprised to find a friend had no idea, or to hear him say, “Oh really? That’s no big deal,” or, “I knew it all along.” Each time you come out, you will have a better sense of how to prepare for the next time.
3. Do your research: Although it’s not your job to educate people about what being gay or transgender means, some people you come out to may have questions, and knowing the answers can help you feel more confident about how you respond. “No, it’s not a choice,” you might need to say if asked why you are gay. “When did you choose to be straight” if further pressed, or, “Mom, I do hope you’ll be a grandparent one day. There are lots of ways for LGBT people to have kids.” If you can’t find what you’re looking for online, contact a group like PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) or GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network). Hold on to the phone number or URL in case you end up wanting to share it with the person you’re coming out to. (For more information, visit www.gaymanners.com.)
4. Keep it simple: You might start off with, “We’ve known each other for a very long time and there’s something personal about me that I’d like you to know.” Or, “I want you to know that I’m a lesbian.” Or even just, “I have a girlfriend.” No need to spill your guts or make a tortured declaration. The more confident and together you sound, the more likely you’ll get a positive response.

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Keep up with Steven online! Visit GayManners.com to read the latest news and ask Steven your own LGBT etiquette questions. You can follow him on Twitter at @gaymanners, where all week he’s tweeting tips for coming out, what to say when a friend comes out to you, and more.

What do you suppose the people below have in common…besides the fact that they’re attractive actors and actresses?

If you guessed, “THEY’RE GOING TO BE IN THE FORTHCOMING MOVIE WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING!!!” …you are exactly right!

Last week Heidi Murkoff herself came into the office for the official celebration—10 years of What to Expect When You’re Expecting on the New York Times best-seller list! That’s 520 weeks (13 gestation periods!) for all you math geniuses. We had ice cream, champagne, and toasted the success (past, present, and future) of the ever popular bible for parents-to-be. Heidi has helped over fourteen million women get through the unknown, sometimes scary, but always exciting, territory of pregnancy. 

While she was here, Heidi regaled us with tales from the set. Much like Love Actually and Valentine’s Day (you saw that, right?), the movie will be a compilation of intersecting stories about… well, you can probably guess. Though Heidi couldn’t reveal who will be pregnant with whose baby, she was excited about the film’s star-studded cast.  We anticipate that the stork will deliver What to Expect just in time for Mother’s Day 2012!

Last month acclaimed meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg conducted a 28-Day Meditation Challenge that followed the program set out in her new book, Real Happiness. Among the participants, Keith Villanevva, a New York City firefighter. Above is a photo of the book in Keith’s firetruck. Keith also blogged during the challenge. Here are a few excerpts:

…It has been brutal weather these past few weeks in NYC. A lot of us firefighters are being over worked due to the city’s low budget. So even though we were running around all day and night for 24 hours I managed to squeeze in a meditation session while we sat at a manhole fire for 3 hours.

…The breath is like the emergency eject button in a fighter plane. It gets us out of trouble and brings us back to earth. Thank goodness for the breath. We always have it with us wherever we go.

…The mind is like an anxious dog. When you let go of the leash it tends to run around like crazy checking out everything in sight and getting into trouble. Once you notice it, you whistle to get its attention so that it can come back to you and behave.

…Another great thing is that Sharon right away teaches you to have compassion for yourself while trying to meditate. She shows you right away that it’s ok and perfectly fine to start over again and again and again. I love that. There is no need to beat yourself up while trying to do something that is meant to help you. This is what Real Happiness is about. Going with the flow without judging yourself and allowing yourself to experience the experience. This is the way we achieve self inquiry. Meditation is the true path to the “Self”.

Thank you, Keith, and everyone else who participated in the challenge.

Whew. Week 2 really put the word CHALLENGE in “28-day Meditation Challenge.” Not only have I had a nasty cold all week, but I’m also in the process of moving.  Attempting to find a peaceful space in my maze of boxes and bubblewrap, and then trying to focus on congested breathing slightly reminscent of a chainsaw… yep, it’s been a challenge. Thus, I must confess that I didn’t follow the book’s program as closely as I should have this week—and I only got through one complete meditation session.

But! What a satisfying session it was. This time  I listened to the first track of Sharon Salzberg’s guided meditation CD that comes with the book—and let me just say, for anyone trying this program or any meditation program for the first time, I can’t recommend the CD highly enough! It’s a wonderful tool; it really helped me focus and made a huge difference in my session.

Truth be told, I was afraid the recording would be a bit… hokey? Hippie-dippie? I asked myself, do I really need this, anyway? I was preparing to cringe as I hit play, but I was so pleasantly surprised once it began. It’s straightforward, rational, and very calming. Sharon’s voice has a naturally soothing quality, and she seems to choose the exact right words to say and the right moments to say them. She leaves long quiet spaces for you as she coaches you through the meditation.

I see now, after this week’s session, how badly I’d needed the extra guidance. This time around I felt a greater awareness of myself, a sense of connection between my body and my mind that lasted well beyond that session. I still haven’t noticed any drastic changes in my day-to-day emotions or feelings of wellbeing, but for now, that “connected” feeling is pretty neat.

I’ll continue with the program this week, moving on to the next track on the CD, and I’ll report back next week about how it goes. In the meantime, check out blog posts from the numerous other (much more articulate!) people trying out the Real Happiness program….

My previous Real Happiness posts:

Week 1

Taking the Challenge

One week after beginning Sharon Salzberg’s 28-day Meditation Challenge, I wish I could say that I’d been instantly transformed into a calmer, happier, more whole being; that my relationships had drastically improved and that any stress in my life had disappeared.

The truth is, I haven’t witnessed any big changes yet—aside from the fact that I’ve been sleeping a bit better (and hey, no complaints there!). But I know that patience is an integral part of this process—an integral part of any process in which you’re trying to learn something new and make a change—so I’m sticking with it.

This week’s chapter/focus is “Concentration: Breathing and the Art of Starting Over.” This idea of starting over turned out to be pretty crucial in silencing my seemingly endless inner monologue—definitely my biggest hurdle of the week.

Session 1

Trying my first meditation session at bedtime was probably a mistake. Sharon says this time frame is perfectly OK, and I’m sure it may work for some people (could even make for a nice segue into a restful night’s sleep!), but for me? Yeah, I was nodding off within 20 seconds. I ultimately gave up and went to bed.

Session 2

I tried for round two a couple days later, right after work—in the quiet half hour before my husband gets home. This time I didn’t nod off, but I did have to stop and start my session over again several times, as Sharon suggests you do if you find yourself distracted by your thoughts. Mine, if you’re at all curious, went something like:

I’m breathing… breathing… breath… gah, I’m hungry! What are we eating tonight? Arghhh I forgot to stop and get onions again so I can’t make that soup thing… ok ok, you’re BREATHING… breathing… I really hope our landlord gives us back our security deposit on time… OK! OK… BREATHING… breathing… “YOU! MAKE! ME! Feel like I’m living a TEEN! AGE! DREAM!  The way you turn me…” ohhh shut up, Katy Perry, get out of my head! I’m breathing… breathing…

Session 3

I was pleasantly surprised to find that keeping my thoughts quiet was a little easier on my third try. Sure, the inner monologue came, as it will always come, but as Sharon points out in the first chapter, there’s something comforting in “being able to begin again, no matter where your attention has gone or for how long.” She adds, “If you get tangled up in thoughts, release them and start over. If you feel bored, or panicked, start over. If you can’t sit still, start over.”

If insipid Katy Perry lyrics creep into your consciousness, start over.

For my Week 2 meditations, I’m going to take things a step further by trying the guided meditation CD that comes with the book, and I’m going to keep practicing the art of, yes, starting over.

Check out Sharon Salzberg’s blog to read about numerous others’ experiences with the Real Happiness 28-day Meditation Challenge, and read Sharon Salzberg’s Huffington Post piece about the program here.

See you next week!

Previous posts:

Taking the Challenge

A guest blog post from Susan Edmiston, co-author of The Cow in the Parking Lot: A Zen Approach to Overcoming Anger

2010 is shaping up to be the Year of Anger.  In addition to the egregious, destructive expressions of this deadly sin (Mel Gibson’s horrific rant, the Mets’ Francisco Rodriguez’s attack on his father-in-law, and the Tea Party’s rage which threatens to undermine, if not destroy, effective government), we’ve seen a few people harness the emotion in more creative ways.

We’ve written previously about Southwest flight attendant Steven Slater, whose leaving the scene via his plane’s emergency chute made him a national hero.  Now, the blue-eyed soul group, the Gregory Brothers, known for their Auto-Tune the News video series, has taken Alabama native Antoine Dodson’s righteous indignation when an intruder climbed in his apartment window and attempted to rape his sister and turned it into an iTunes Top-50 song. See/hear “The Bed Intruder Song” here:

The Cow in the Parking Lot does not condone “Don’t get mad; get even,” but it does approve “Don’t get mad; get effective” (and offers ways to do this) and now celebrates “Don’t get mad; get creative.”