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Wicked French
By Howard Tomb
Paperback
, 64 pages
ISBN: 9780894806162 (0894806165)
Published by Workman Publishing
$4.95(US)
$6.95(CAN)
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Table Of Contents
CONTENTS
WELCOME TO FRANCE- Welcome to France…5
- Making French Noises with Your Mouth and Nose…5
- The Untranslatables Pronunciation disclaimer
…9- Friendly Customs Agents and Their Machine Guns…9
- Prayer of the Frequent Flier…11
GETTING AROUND- Taxi Driver…12
- Taxi Driver avec Cujo…14
- Kilometers per Hour: Get a Grip…16
- Rondpoint Technique and Recommended Armaments…17
- Epithets on Wheels…18
- Lesser-Known International Symbols…19
- Fine Points of the Paris Metro…20
- Railway Romance…21
ACCOMMODATIONS- Notorious Snouts, Part I: The Concierge…24
- Notorious Snouts, Part II: The Réceptioniste…25
- Tiny Hotel Rooms of France…26
- Threatening the Maid…27
- Tipping…28
- Stiffing
SIGHTS, SOUNDS, AND SMELLS- Fashion Bondage…30
- Dieter's Desiderata…31
- Demon Children of the Eiffel Tower…32
- Prayer to the Don…33
- The Most Gigantic Art Museum on Earth…34
- Intelligent Comments about Art You Can Make Yourself
- Negotiating the Topless Beach…38
BUREAUCRACY AND CULTURE- Cultivating Your Attitude Problem…40
- Understanding European Business Hours…42
- Waiting for Godot's Telegram…44
WINE AND FOOD- No Bad Waiters…46
- Organs You May Wish to Avoid Eating…48
- Wine Talk of the Sophisticates…50
CAFE AND NIGHTLIFE- Dominating the Disco…52
- Exotic Drinks of the French Nightclub…53
- Café Etiquette…54
- Existentialism and Other Bull…54
- Banishing Shrimps…56
- Favorite Pet Names…57
- The Words of Love…58
- Your Emergency Confession…60
THE MODEL GUEST- Your First Rural Experience…62
- The Inevitable Thank-You Note…63
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